I'm NOT Sick
by naynayshay
Summary: Clark gets sick… and Lois still annoys him beyond belief. Sequel to Sick.
1. Tomato in the Sky

_The long awaited sequel. This should fit somewhere in "Sneeze." Italics are Clark's thoughts. _

_**edit 11/12/06** Wow. I totally fixed that MAJOR typo. Hahaha. Everyone had a good time with that one didn't they?_

* * *

"Okay Smallville. What are we going to do about your cold?"

"We're not going to do anything."

"You're not some kind of super-man Clark. You should have some soup. You want soup? I'll make you soup."

_Great. Just great. I can see it now. She's going to take a bowl of cold water, put a whole tomato in it, and then try to pass it off as soup._

Clark visibly blanches at this thought.

"You know Lois; you don't need to return the favor. I can take care of myself."

"No. Honestly Clark. I'm going to help you out. You'll get better in no time."

Lois bends over to retrieve a pot from the cabinet and fills it with water from the sink as Clark begins to eye her ministrations suspiciously. After placing the pot on the stove, she then proceeds to make her way to the refrigerator.

"What are you going to pu-" Clark begins to question, when he sees Lois immerge holding sure enough, a tomato. "NO!" Clark yells, as he envisions the concoction that his imagination had created earlier.

"What? What's wrong with tomatoes? This is a farm. They grow these on farms! Right?"

Clark, in his state of the sniffles, jumps off of his stool, and grabs the tomato out of Lois' hand.

"Yes, they grow tomatoes on farms, as well as many other things that come from farms that I'm sure you are unaware of. And second, there is nothing wrong with tomatoes, but this one-" He pauses a moment to think of what to say. "This is rotten, so you can't use it."

_Good one Clark. Anything that will prevent me from consuming her cooking._

"Okay. Now you're having paranoid delusions. I think you should tuck yourself up in your bed, and let me bring you soup. Now give me the tomato."

As Lois reaches for the tomato, Clark quickly raises it up out of her reach.

_Yes. Clark-1. Lois-0._

"No. I can't eat this tomato. See. It has a bruise right there." Clark points somewhere randomly at the tomato, and then proceeds to chuck it out the open window.

Lois stares at him in shock. He shrugs his shoulders carelessly, and makes his way towards the stairs, as he distinctly hears the voice of a familiar blonde reporter screeching through the window about how a tomato flew from the sky and into her hair.

* * *

_The story will get better as it progresses. Thoughts?_


	2. The Bubbling Mess

_Hey there . So… my updates are usually annoyingly short… but this kind of story just calls for short chapters. I just feel like the bantering scenes are better when they're short. I'm sorry if Lois appears a little out of character… I'm trying to pass it off as her feeling like she owes something to Clark for helping her when **she** was sick. I'm not too happy with this chapter. Let me know what you think._

* * *

Clark sighs involuntarily as he stares up at the ceiling from his bed.

_I hate being sick. How are people sick all the time? How could Lois be sick for so long without going crazy?_

Hiding his face under the covers, he moans as he hears Lois coming up the stairs.

_I spoke too soon._

"Okay Smallville. This is me returning the favor. I have made you, my famous… uh… soup. Whenever I have it, I get better in like five minutes. It's great!"

Clark peeks from beneath the covers at the tray in Lois' outstretched hands. To his horror and disgust, the bowl that is resting rather haphazardly on the tray, is filled to the brim with a sickly, chunky, black mess of crushed vegetables and beans.

"Um... I have a question. Lois... why is it bubbling like that?"

"What do you mean? Things bubble when they're hot."

"Yeah, but... not like… not like… that."

"Sure they do. Honestly Clark. You act like you've never dealt with food before."

Walking over to his bed, she carefully places the tray onto Clark's lap and smacks his back until he sits up. He gives her a dirty look and then proceeds to give her a piece of his mind.

"Lois... I've dealt with food, but dealing with a mixture of chem. lab remnants and open sewage is something else."

She gasps.

"If that's really what you think of me trying to be nice for a change, then you can just forget I even tried!"

Infuriated at the slur of insults thrown her way, she turns on her heel and begins to head out of the room.

_Woops. Too far._

She pauses momentarily, doubles back, and grabs the tray off of Clark's lap.

"You don't deserve my cooking!" She grabs the spoon off of the tray, as Clark stares at her wide eyed. Plunging the spoon into the soup, she takes a steaming, bubbling mess of it and shoves it into her mouth. Immediately her face contorts in disgust and she begins to involuntarily gag.

"You see," She stutters, "IT'S GOOD."

Clark smiles a toothy grin, as he hears her spitting out the rest of it while making her way down the hallway.


	3. The Betrayal

_Kind of a pointless chapter. Then again, when do any of them have a point anyway? Haven't updated in a while so, here's kind of a... transitional type thing. Enjoy?_

* * *

Tiptoeing downstairs, Clark carefully peers around from side to side. He's got to be quick if he doesn't want to run into-

"Smallville... where are you going?"

_Great._

"I've got chores to do."

"Chores? Who takes care of chores when they're sick?"

"I do Lois, now if you don't mind.."

Clark turns his back to reach for the doorknob.

_Almost... out.._

Using this to her advantage, Lois decides that it's time to play dirty.

"MRS. KENT! Good morning!"

"Hello Lois, how are you?"

"I'm great Mrs. Kent. But I'm worried about Clark."

Rolling his eyes, yet tightening his grip on the doorknob, Clark pauses to hear how this one will end up; but not before he adds his own two cents.

"You know Lois, when was it acceptable to show up somewhere unannounced ALL the time?"

Ignoring Clark's piece; save for an irritated look in his direction, Lois continues her conversation with Martha.

"See Mrs. Kent, I'm pretty sure you know, as well as I, that when a person is sick, they need to get all the rest that they can in order to achieve a full and quick recovery!"

Lois mistakes the quick wandering of Martha's eye to her son as a look of worry, rather than what it really is; the look that one has when they know they're about to screw someone over.

Clark looks over at his mother, pleading with his eyes that she doesn't do what he thinks she's going to do... and then..

"Lois you're absolutely right. Sometimes Clark just doesn't know when he's pushing himself."

Lois smiles with glee.

_Bingo._

Eyeing Clark oncemore with a look of utmost apology she grabs her purse off the counter, pushes Clark gently out of the way and says, "Clark, why don't you let Lois take care of you while I go into town?" She disappears through the door before Clark can shoot her a look of annoyance.

Sighing, Clark moves away from the door.

"You know Lois, I'm really NOT that sick, you really don't nee-" before he can get any further he sniffles dramatically, covers his mouth and unleashes a tidal wave of snot and spit into his hands.

Lois grins.

"What was that you were saying Smallville?"


	4. Relax Right Back into Health

_Well that only took a year… Sorry guys! Enjoy?_

* * *

He was never going to forgive his mother for leaving him alone with her.

"You're REALLY pleased with yourself right now aren't you?" Clark asked darkly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Lois remarked.

"Lois this is RIDICULOUS." He exclaimed.

"You need to take the proper care and precautions in order to travel down the road to recovery! Jeez, you act like you've never been sick before Smallville."

Clark huffed in frustration. This was not the road to recovery, this was like torture by liquid Kryptonite down the throat. Lois had forcibly stacked five blankets on top of him (making sure to tuck each end into the couch, basically immobilizing him), dressed him in thick wool socks after rubbing Vaseline all over his feet, ("WOW! Your feet are huge! You know what that means?") and to top it all off she'd plugged in a stereo that only played soothing ocean sounds. ("The sounds of the sea will help you relax right back into health!")

"Don't glare at me like that Smallville," she said as she grabbed the remote and plopped down onto the armchair to his right. "It's for your own good. At this rate you'll be happy and healthy in the next two hours!"

"Don't you think that mist that you've got spraying into the room is a little much?" he grumbled.

"Nonsense. This mist goes through your nasal passage and eases it's way into your lungs. It's a great device," she smiled at the thought of her incredible find. "Real snazzy. I got it cheap too!"

"Lois... I don't think it should be letting off that much smoke..." Clark warned urgently.

"What are you talking about? It's perf- HOLY CRAP IT'S ON FIRE!"


End file.
